The Art of Moving On
by brennaks
Summary: '"Why did you decide on the name Cas?" "Well it rhymes with ass and your face does look like an ass," "You think my face looks like an ass..." Dean blushed slightly and said a little too fast, "No, I didn't mean-"' AU with Human!Cas. High school already sucks. Especially when you're attracted to someone everyone thinks you hate. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

The sun set slowly as a figure closed the hood of a black car and walked backwards to get a better look. Sweat glistened on his tanned skin as he cleaned the grease off his hands with a grimy rag. A filthy, once white, shirt stretched across his toned torso and ripped jeans sagged slightly around his waist. He surveyed his black 1967 Chevy Impala with a proud smile. He turned and walked slowly towards the house with a look of deep thought. The sixteen year old threw aside the rag and entered the house surrounded by totaled cars faded and orange with rust.

He made his way straight for the kitchen and dug around the back of the fridge for a can of soda. A mop-headed twelve year old sat at the table across the kitchen with a large textbook open and papers scattered across the table. He glanced up at the teenager as he picked a bottle of root beer and immediately started downing it.

"Did you finally finish fixing it, Dean?" the younger boy asked with an excited glimmer in his eyes.

Dean looked over and grinned. He sat down across from the twelve year old at the table and moved aside a couple of math assignments.

"You should hear her, Sammy," Dean stated before leaning back in his chair with a whistle.

"It's Sam, Dean," Sam corrected looking back at his algebra homework.

"Whatever, Sammy," answered Dean absentmindedly. He sipped at his drink and brought his feet up to rest on the textbook Sam was attempting to read.

"Do you mind?" Sam asked looking up at his brother with a look of exasperation.

Dean reached for the closest paper and rolled his eyes, "Math, Sam. Really?"

Sam rolled his eyes back and pried his brother's textbook from underneath his brothers mud covered shoes.

"Dean Winchester, what do you think you are doing to my table?" a voice yelled from the door to the living room.

Dean immediately took his feet off the table and stopped leaning back in his seat as Karen Singer swept into the kitchen. She raised an eyebrow at the boys, but continued on her way to the oven.

Sam grinned at his brother and raised his eyebrow in the same fashion as Karen. Dean rolled his eyes and pat Sam on the back before crossing the kitchen to wash his hands. Karen pulled out a pan of lasagna with mitt-covered hands and set it down on the counter.

"Washing up, Dean?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

"Yes, Aunt Karen," Dean answered wearily as he attempted to scrub the grime from under his nails.

Karen turned her sharp gaze towards Sam, who nodded his head and presented his hands out. She smiled at the boys before turning to the pantry to grab the bag of dinner rolls. The front door opened and closed loudly and Sam craned his neck to see who was at the door.

Bobby Singer walked into the kitchen with a gruff hello to Dean and Sam. He crossed the kitchen and kissed his wife before moving Dean out of the way so he could wash his hands. While washing up, Bobby looked towards Dean.

"Just saw her, Dean" he began looking the tiniest bit proud underneath his rugged beard and moth eaten cap, "Can't believe you fixed her up so well. Your dad left her as piece of junk and now she's practically brand new."

He and Dean moved to the table where Sam had removed his homework and replaced it with plates and silverware. Karen brought the food to the table and after saying grace (and reprimanding Dean for eating during the grace), they all dug into the wonderful home cooked food.

"Since you fixed up the impala, could you pick me up from soccer practice so everyone can see how awesome my brother's car is?" Sam asked Dean with a mouthful of bread and pasta.

Dean looked at the ceiling thoughtfully, "Not in this lifetime,"

Sam shook his head at his brother, "Jerk,"

"Bitch,"

"Alright," Karen said giving the boys her best motherly glare, "School starts again tomorrow. Do you have everything ready?"

Dean made a disgusted face and picked at his food while Sam babbled on about his summer algebra course and how ready he was for his advanced math class.

If there was one thing Dean Winchester was not looking forward to, it was starting his sophomore year at high school. Who wanted to stay in a building for eight hours a day and listen to seven different teachers lecture you on things that wouldn't help you in the real world?

Sam enjoyed living with their dad's old friend. Now, they had a permanent home with clean beds and home cooked meals and they didn't have to switch schools every couple of weeks. Sam got to play soccer, make friends, go to the local pizza parlor after practice, and take dumb summer school classes to get ahead.

Dean preferred being with their dad, John Winchester. He loved the constant moving around, never knowing what town they'd be stuck in, and he especially loved the hunting with their dad. How many sixteen year olds could say that their dad hunted the paranormal for a living? Not that many, Dean had guessed. And those kids certainly didn't live with their dad's friend in middle-of-nowhere, South Dakota.

After the Shtriga incident in Wisconsin, John left his sons in the care of Bobby and Karen Singer. While John and Bobby didn't always get along, Bobby felt a sense of paternal love for the boys and Karen had always wanted kids. And since the age of ten, Dean had been with the Singers. John rarely called or visited anymore and Sam just seemed to forget about him. The past six years, he'd been raised with Bobby's gruff but loving discipline and he finally had a maternal figure.

Dean just wanted things how they used to be.

But instead, Dean sat at a table eating dinner with his new family and dreading the start of school tomorrow morning.

At least he could drive himself to school. That might make the day more bearable.

* * *

First chapter finally up and running!

I've had this idea swimming in my brain for ages, but I could never seem to write it well enough to do it justice.

Started Supernatural about seven months ago and met Cas about four months ago and ever since I've just shipped Destiel. I'm only on season six so if anything contrasts with what's happened in season 7/8, I apologize.

I have a couple of chapters all set and I'm in the process of editing them but hopefully I can queue them up so I have more time to write during the school year!

Basically in this AU, John takes the boys to Bobby's house instead of Pastor Jim's after the incident with the Shtriga in 1.18 Something Wicked. Bobby had been able to subdue Karen and Rufus was able to exorcise the demon from Karen without killing her. However, how John and Bobby met without Bobby becoming a hunter shall (hopefully) be revealed soon.

Cas is introduced in the second chapter, so do not let your shipper heart fret!

-Brenna


	2. Chapter 2

At seven am, Dean was asleep in his warm bed. His dark blue comforter thrown over the edge of the bed and the sheets tangled around his legs. His mouth was open and drool was slowly making its way down his chin.

The door swung open and hit the wall loud enough to make Dean jump and reach for the knife under his pillow. Before he could bring it out however, Karen walked into the room and crossed her arms.

"I asked you to get up at six so you'd be ready to take Sam to school by seven," she started and raised one eyebrow at Dean.

Dean slowly slipped his knife under his pillow and looked guiltily towards her.

"It won't happen again, Aunt Karen," he promised.

Karen smiled slightly, "Remember that your school starts at eight. I put lunch money in your jacket that's by the door,"

"Thanks," Dean smiled and walked over to his Aunt and gave her a hug.

Karen softened at Dean's hug. She then wished him a good day and went to take Sam to school.

Half an hour later, Dean pulled his car into a parking space at Centennial High School. Part of him considered just driving back home and feigning sick in hopes of not going to school. The other part knew that Aunt Karen would never fall for it and it'd just waste gas going home if she'd make him come right back.

Dean groaned and rubbed his eyes. Sooner or later, he'd have to go eventually. Why not get it over with? He pulled the key from the ignition and immediately Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" stopped playing.

After taking a deep breath, Dean pushed the driver side door open. The door hit something hard and papers flew everywhere. Dean got out of the car, closed the door, and found himself staring down at another teenager.

The teen on the ground was inspecting his hands and elbows for scratches from his fall. His dark hair was combed neatly from his pale and clean shaven face. His white button down shirt had untucked itself and hung loosely over his black dress pants.

Dean raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Just come from church?" he asked somewhat cockily.

"No, I came from home," answered the fallen teen as he struggled to rise. He dusted his pants off and extended a friendly hand towards Dean.

Dean stared at the hand until the other withdrew it tentatively. He continued staring instead at the stranger he'd just pushed down with his car door.

"My name is James Novak and I'm a new student," James Novak stated after a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence.

"Dean Winchester and I will not call you that," Dean responded as he bent down to pick up the papers that had fallen from James Novak's arms.

James Novak cocked his head slightly and narrowed his eyes, "But it is my name,"

"Got a middle name or something because James Novak is a shit name,"

Dean continued picking up the papers and made them into a not-so-neat pile. He stood up and something on the paper caught his eye. They were fliers that read in large red letters, "**ARE YOU SAFE FROM SATAN'S GRIP? JOIN THE TEENS FOR GOD CLUB TODAY TO SAVE YOUR SOUL.**"

"Castiel."

Dean looked up from the flier, "What?"

James Novak looked down at his shoes and silently took the fliers from Dean. He proceeded to walk past Dean and towards the school.

Bewildered, Dean turned around and easily caught up to other teen.

"What did you call me?" Dean questioned with narrowed eyes.

"I didn't call you anything. I told you my middle name. It's Castiel," James Castiel Novak stated and he stopped and turned to face Dean.

"Dude," Dean began trying to not laugh, "I'm so sorry about your name."

"My family calls me Jimmy," the other stated, suddenly interested in his fliers and refusing to meet Dean's eyes.

"Your entire name is unfortunate, man," Dean said putting a hand on Jimmy Novak's shoulder. He heaved a sigh and turned around to walk into the school, "Next time watch where you're walking!"

"I was watching where I was walking. It was you who didn't see me," Jimmy Novak called out to Dean.

Dean turned around slowly, "What did you say?"

Jimmy paled a bit but continued, "I was perfectly aware of where I was. You, however, should've seen me coming since you were facing me."

Dean narrowed his eyes and walked back over to where Jimmy stood. He was only a foot away from Jimmy when he stopped. He grinned slightly before smacking the fliers out of Jimmy's hands. Jimmy dropped all of the fliers (there must have been fifty or sixty) and lost his balance and fell backwards. He looked up at Dean, his blue eyes burning with anger.

"Welcome to Centennial, Cas," Dean said before walking into the school and leaving Jimmy-now-Cas and all his fliers to be late for first period.

* * *

Dean Winchester sat on his bed.

It was seven in the evening and he was so angry about being flustered around Cas, he'd lost track of time and missed dinner. Missing dinner only made Dean beat himself up for being too comfortable at the Singer household. Had Dean never came here, he would've been perfectly fine missing a meal here and there. If Dean hadn't ever come here, he never would've met Cas. And thus more than ever, Dean missed his dad.

A knock sounded from the bedroom door as it slowly opened as Sam looked at his brother with his concerned puppy-eyed look. Dean sighed and patted the spot on the bed next to him and Sam sat down still staring at his brother.

"Aunt Karen didn't believe me that you were upstairs during dinner," Sam began with a bit of a smile in his voice, "she said she'd never heard of you skipping a meal and that it's a sign that you're dying or something."

Dean nodded his head slowly and Sam's small smile went away almost immediately.

"Seriously Dean, what happened? You came home and immediately locked yourself in your room."

"What's wrong with some privacy, Sammy?" Dean demanded loudly. He stood up and stared down at his brother, "It's something I have now that I didn't have back then with Dad and I'm enjoying it."

Sam's face turned to stone and he glared at Dean.

"Is this about Dad," he asked quietly.

"No it's not, but how about we talk about that."

"Dean-"

"Do you even remember Dad, Sam?" Dean began in a dangerous voice, "Do you know where he is and what he's doing? He's making the world a better place for us and helping people. He's not some travelling salesman. I told you that he wasn't and you still refuse to believe that he's out there hunting-"

"Don't you talk about that, Dean," Sam sputtered, fuming with rage, "You told me we weren't going to talk about dad anymore now that we're here."

"Well it's what's bothering me, Sam," Dean retorted, "And you wanted to know so here it is, all laid you for you."

Sam clenched his fists and glared at his brother, "Dad's not coming back, Dean. He's out there risking his neck to find whatever it is that killed mom. And you know what? I'm glad he decided to leave us here. We have a family now, Dean. We don't need dad."

Dean shook his head and headed towards his closet and tore his jacket off the hanger and started to walk out of the room. Before opening the door, he turned and glared at Sam.

"You wouldn't be alive if it weren't for dad, Sammy."

"We'd be dead if we were still with him, Dean."

Dean breathed in, opened the door, and walked down the stairs. His vision was red like it always is when he's angry. He staggers past the living room and out the front door towards his car. He gets in and begins searching through the box of cassette tapes that John had given him. After a couple of moments, Dean realized that each one of those cassette's reminded him of his dad. He couldn't get away from John Winchester. His chest ached for his dad and the hole in his stomach seemed to swallow him up whole. He looked toward the cooler hidden underneath the passenger side dashboard.

Dean turned the car on and sped down the road as fast as he could. He needed to find a parking lot, a ditch, an alley, anywhere and just be alone for a while. He needed to find a place, and fast.

* * *

**A/N:**

Dean's a bit of a bitch, isn't he?

But what was that my old preschool teacher told me? _"If they're mean to you, it means they like you!"_

And yes this story is rated M for later adult themes/language and later violence

Peachy, right?

Edit: Edited this chapter and chapter four to fit the story line a little better. Parts were posted out of order and I apologize for any confusion it may have caused!

-Brenna


	3. Chapter 3

James Castiel Novak did not enjoying his first day of public high school.

First his older brother, Michael, makes him hand out fliers for his "Teens for God" club and then he drops the fliers three minutes before class starts.

Well, he didn't technically drop them. They were pushed out of his hands by some guy who hit him with his car door. But when Michael demanded why the fliers were dirty, James was perfectly fine admitting to tripping and dropping them. He would never admit that he was technically "bullied" before the school day even began. He especially did not admit that because then his other older half-siblings, Gabriel and Anna, would probably try to find the kid.

After first period English on the second day of school, James walked slowly down the hall. He looked at the ground as to not attract attention because the last thing he wanted was more trouble.

However, looking down at the ground to avoid other peoples' gazes leads to bumping into the person in front of you. And if there's a God, he has a sense of humor.

Dean Winchester turned around and found himself face to face with James/Jimmy/Cas Novak.

"Cas, would you get out of my ass?" Dean said as he backed up and continued down the hall.

"I was never in your…" Cas trailed off before realizing what he meant, "Wait!"

He called out to Dean and walked faster to catch up to him. Cas was soon walking alongside him, but Dean ignored him and sped up. Cas continued to walk after Dean until they reached the less crowded science hall.

"Why do you call me Cas?"

Dean stopped and turned towards Cas. He let out a deep breath before grinning.

"Well I sure as hell wasn't going to call you James, Jimmy, or Castiel," he began chuckling slightly. He turned to leave thinking he answered the teen's question.

"Wait, you didn't have to call me anything," Cas called, "Why did you decide on the name Cas?"

"Well it rhymes with ass and your face does look like an ass,"

"You think my face looks like an ass..."

Dean blushed slightly and said a little too fast, "No, I didn't mean-"

"Jimmy!"

Dean and Cas turned quickly. Coming out of a classroom down the hall was a pale and willowy redhead who grinned when she saw Cas. She walked up to the pair and leaned against the lockers.

"Skipping class as well, I see," the girl whispered with a knowing look, "Didn't know you were such a rebel, Jamesy."

"Anna?" Cas looked taken aback by the girl's appearance. He looked at the clock on the wall that indicated second period had stared five minutes earlier. Cas turned back to Anna.

"Michael warned you not to skip class again," Cas muttered looking back down to the ground under his older sister's gaze.

Anna turned slightly toward Dean, "And you are?"

"Dean Winchester," Dean said smiling a little too mischievously at Anna for Cas's liking.

"Anna Milton," she said smiling coldly back at him. With the introductions out of the way, she excused Cas and herself and made her way down the hall with Cas in tow.

After making sure Dean Winchester hadn't followed them she turned to Cas. Her brow was furrowed as she looked over her younger half-brother with concern.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Cas sighed and shook his head slightly.

Anna blew her bangs out of her eyes and put her hand to his forehead.

"You're warm, Jimmy," she said as she took her hand away, "Are you sick?"

"Cas," he mumbled.

"What?"

"I want to be called Cas. No more James or Jimmy. Castiel or Cas, please."

Anna looked at her brother nervously, "Maybe I should take you home,"

Feeling slightly overwhelmed, Cas leaned against the lockers. He suddenly just didn't want to stay at school. Anna put her hands on her hips and surveyed the empty hall. After a couple of seconds, she rubbed her eyes and looked back to Cas.

"Ok, Castiel," she smiled slightly at the name that seemed to fit him better than James did, "Let me change back into my other clothes and then we'll go,"

Cas sighed appreciatively and followed her towards her locker. Anna then drifted to the bathroom where Cas waited patiently in the hall outside. Anna returned a few minutes later wearing her white button down, knee length khaki skirt, and loafers. She had scrubbed the makeup off her face and folded her jeans and tank top underneath her school binders in her backpack.

"Ready? Please try not to get me caught or sick," Anna added quietly as she led the way out the school's back entrance.

"_Sick? More like lovesick,"_ Anna thought as she smirked to herself.

* * *

**A/N:**

Okay c:

As this is my first fic, I feel slightly overwhelmed at the amount of people reading this...

It's almost 3:30am on the last day of 2012. I couldn't sleep so here I am posting the third chapter earlier than I thought!

Might be able to get the fourth and fifth out tomorrow. Writing is so exciting! It keeps me up all night because I keep imagining different scenarios and cute/angst scenes that literally make me shake with excitement at the thought of writing them.

Chapters four and five were interesting to write...I mean the first and second chapter were written about a month ago though I did not publish them until last night. However, I wrote this chapter and the next couple of chapter over the course of one day. Some parts felt a little rushed, but twisted action and mystery put together leaves a nice suspense in their wake that might keep people on their toes while I try writing while the muses are still with me.

I just love Dean and Cas so much that I flail as I write them. Fuck, do i need a life or what.

-Brenna


	4. Chapter 4

After Anna brought him home, Cas went straight to his room and crawled under the covers. He felt fine really. He didn't understand why Anna was worrying so much. He wasn't running a temperature, his pulse was normal, and his physical health was outstanding as usual. But in reality, the last thing Cas wanted was to go back to school; the reason why was just out of his grasp and he couldn't figure it out.

Anna came into his room and smiled at him.

"I know you're not sick," she stated. She raised her eyebrows and she leaned against the door frame of his cramped room.

Cas sat up in bed and stared at her, "Why did you take me out of school?"

Anna fidgeted for a moment. She looked so different in the clothes that Michael forced them all to wear. Michael was the head of the household and worked as the theology teacher at the high school. This way, he could watch his siblings and make sure they were doing what he asked of them. Anna, however, hated all of Michael's rules.

Finally, Anna walked forward and sat on Castiel's bed. She took a huge breath and began to tell a story at such a fast and garbled pace that Cas couldn't keep up.

"…and so I really need you to go to the store for me and buy the groceries that Michael asked me to get this morning before school for dinner tonight because I promised him I'd go to the luncheon with him and if I'm not there and he finds out about the groceries then he definitely won't let me out Friday night and-"

"Anna!" Cas interjected once he got what she was asking, "I'll go buy the groceries. Just try to behave at the Club luncheon; you are the sponsor's sister after all."

Anna's eyes lit up and she hugged Castiel tight. After promises to pay him back for making him miss school to do her chores, she dropped him off at the grocery store and went back to the school for the Teens for God club luncheon.

Castiel began to walk towards the automatic doors of the store when something caught his eye. Just barely peeking out from the side of the building, Cas recognized the black muscle car almost immediately. But, why was it parked next to the grocery store in the middle of a school day?

Gathering his courage, Cas slowly eased his way towards the car. The engine was off and car parked off to the side of the building where no one went. There was trash everywhere and the putrid smell of the rotting garbage from the large dumpsters made his eyes water. There was a door that led into the back of the store and a man leaned against the door frame, but that was far away from them.

Cas wandered around to the side of the car and observed that the windows were all rolled down. He stepped back a few feet and tried to see into the dark shadowed windows.

"Dean?" he called out tentatively.

He saw a figure inside the car turn toward him slowly. The figure then proceeded to get out of the car. It was Dean Winchester; what he was doing in his car on the side of a grocery store, Cas had no idea.

Dean's face however struck terror into Cas. His face was dark and twisted in the shadow of the building. His face flushed a dull red color and his mouth curled into a sneer. He called out something, but Cas couldn't understand Dean at all. His words slurred together and with each counting second he was getting angrier.

Feeling nervous, and deep down a little scared, Cas started to back out of the narrow alley Dean parked in. Dean's eyes narrowed and Cas swore he'd never seen anyone look less human. Cas backed out of the shadow of the building and the sudden sunlight made his eyes narrow as he struggled to see what Dean was doing in the shadow of the building.

Suddenly there were pounding feet and a shout. Cas turned to run from the sound but something grabbed the hood of his jacket. His body felt weightless as he fell backwards and all too soon he hit the ground. His head smashed on to the cold concrete as something dragged him backwards. His vision was blurry from the pain in his head and he lay on the ground frozen with fear. His attacker dragged him by the arm to the wall of the building where he sat on Castiel's chest. As if in slow motion, Cas felt punch after punch and felt more pain than he ever thought it was possible to feel. Blood filled his mouth and slid down his throat making it difficult to breathe.

Through the bloodied haze, Cas saw someone drag his attacker off of him. His head fell backwards against the concrete as he stared unseeing at the sky and felt nothing but burning agony. Blood flowed freely from his nose and the many cuts now on his face. He could feel the bloodied lump on the back of his head swelling rapidly. He tried to move his right arm that the attacker used to drag him, but a pain that started from his shoulder made him want to pass out. Unmoving, he stayed staring up at the noonday sky.

Whispers of his name bled through the rushing sound of his heartbeat. Whispers that could have been yells or screams, Cas didn't understand them. All he heard was his name, over and over. Like a mantra. Cas.

A single face swam above his as he faded from consciousness. Dean. Crying. Help? Things started to lose sense as Cas's eyelids closed. The last thing he heard is a cry for an ambulance. Then the dark greeted him with promises of numbness and forgetting.

* * *

**A/N:**

Cue suspense!

All shall be revealed soon, my children.

I literally was smiling the whole time I was writing the chapter. Why? Maybe I'm secretly a sadomasochist. That would explain all the painful shows I watch.

Combined what was supposed to be chapter's 4 and 5 in an attempt to get more out of the way.

I have a small journal where I have the timeline of the story planned out, but it's actually extremely hard to turn that into an interesting story with interesting connections and characters?

Cheers and Happy New Year my lovely readers. I shall be spending tonight in my parents bed, whilst home alone with my sister and dogs, drinking sparkling cider and writing.

Hope your 2013 starts off well!

Edit: This chapter was edited to fit the order of the story better. You'll find the other scene that went down in this chapter in chapter 2 where it actually happened in chronological order. I apologize for any confusion!

-Brenna


	5. Chapter 5

"He's going to be fine, Ms. Milton."

Anna closed her eyes and sighed. She remembered his face as she pulled away at the grocery store. When she opened her eyes however, Castiel's bruised face, the stitches on his right cheek, and his blue ringed eyes closed against the harsh light of the hospital burned into her memory. Anna finally looked up at the doctor.

"When is he going to wake up?" she asked quietly, her voice dead.

"Sometime today, I believe. His concussion wasn't as severe as it seemed and we were able to fix his dislocated shoulder. He's sleeping off the pain reliever now, but he will be ready to go home tomorrow."

Anna heard Michael and Gabriel sigh in relief behind her. The mood of the room was somber enough to damper Gabriel's usual mood for tricks, and it had been quiet for a while.

Eventually, the doctor left the room to attend another patient. Anna sat back down in her seat next the Cas's bed and she resumed holding his hand. Michael rose from a chair near the door and walked over so he faced Anna from across the bed. His glare was unsettling and the air in the room hummed with sudden tension.

"What was James doing at the grocery store during school?"

Anna bit her lip and stared at the ground. After a moment she muttered, "Castiel,"

Michael took a deep breath, "Excuse me?"

"He wants to go by his middle name from now on," Anna said quietly still refusing to meet Michael's eyes.

From behind her, Anna heard Gabriel jump up.

"I hate to interrupt your lovely chat," Gabriel began in a lighthearted way, "but I think I'm going to get something from the vending machines." He proceeded to walk out the door and down the hallway to the elevator.

Michael walked to door and stuck his head out and called, "Gabe the vending machines are right here." He looked pointedly at the snack machine right across from the room.

"Yep," Gabriel kept walking and didn't turn back.

Michael sighed impatiently before striding back over to where he stood before. Anna kept her eyes trained on the tiled floor as she unconsciously stroked her thumb over Castiel's hand.

"Anna, I need an answer," Michael demanded.

Anna bit the inside of her cheek in frustration. She didn't want to put all the blame on Castiel while he lay unconscious on the bed, but Michael swore if she broke another rule he would take her out of her journalism class she went to Friday nights.

Anna blinked and looked up at Michael. She opened her mouth and took in a deep breath.

"It was my fault, Michael."

Both Michael and Anna's head swiveled to look down upon the speaker. Cas looked at them through swollen and bruised eyes. He looked guiltily at Michael before continuing.

"I asked Anna to drive me to school early that morning even though I knew you'd sent her to buy dinner for that night. I managed to convince her to take me to school and during lunch to drop me off at the store to make it up to her," Cas looked toward Michael, "Please forgive me for any trouble or worry I've caused you."

Michael softened at his brother's words. He nodded and went to get a nurse. Anna stared at Cas before looking down in shame. He took the blame for her.

"I didn't want you to get into trouble," Cas started, his voice hoarse, "I knew Michael wouldn't let you go to your class if he found out it was your idea to take me to the store."

Anna nodded slowly and smiled a bit, "How long were you awake?"

Cas shrugged his good shoulder, "After the doctor left."

Michael came back into the room and announced the doctor would come back to check Cas in ten minutes. He pulled his chair to the other side of Cas's bed and patted his leg. He began to fill Cas in on what happened after they found him.

"They found you unconscious and bleeding in the alley next to the store. Dean Winchester claims to have found you there, but he had his car parked there and he'd been drinking. Apparently the police have identified him as your attacker," Michael looked steadily at Cas to see whether this made any sense to him.

Castiel felt as if someone had dumped cold water on him. Dean Winchester attacked him? The air felt hard to breathe as he struggled with this new evidence. He remembered hearing running footsteps before being pulled backwards and dragged. Someone had pulled his attacker off him after that, but hadn't it been Dean calling for help? Why would his attacker call for help?

Michael continued on, "If you want to press charges, we're behind you one hundred percent."

Anna looked at Cas worriedly. She squeezed his left hand and nodded slightly at him in encouragement.

Despite the pain Castiel was in, he felt there was no reason to press charges. Especially because Castiel felt a significant amount of doubt towards the assumption that it was Dean who did this to him.

"No," he began wearily, "I do not wish to press charges."

Michael looked nervously at Anna before turning his gaze back to Cas, "How's your head?"

"Hurts," he grumbled feeling suddenly tired, "but I need one more thing."

"What is it?" Anna asked.

"I need to talk to Dean."

* * *

The first night after school, Dean argued with Sam and had sped off to the grocery stores parking lot to get some control back. He found an alley to the side of the store where the employees threw out the trash. He sat back in his seat after parking and thought about what happened before school.

Castiel had called him out. Most teenagers found Dean intimidating and wouldn't dare to correct him. His build, music, car, and attitude always steered everyone away from him. And then suddenly, a dark-haired fifteen year old in the Jesus club tells Dean to watch where _he's _going.

And Dean had frozen for a split second. What do you say in a situation like this? There was no way in hell Dean Winchester was going to apologize. The only thing he could think of was asserting dominance through being an ass. And as Dean walked away from Cas, he'd never felt more flustered in his life. Who did this guy think he was?

The second day of school didn't go so well either. Dean tried hard not to let Cas get to him. And the guy was just asking him questions. But somehow, Dean managed to make himself into an ass again. What was this guy's problem anyway? He kept finding Dean and talking to him. Dean intimidated people and stole their girlfriends. He didn't make friends, he made people fear him.

After the girl Anna dragged Castiel off, Dean felt the flustered shame bubble in his stomach again. He basically compared some guy he barely knew to an ass and then got embarrassed and tried to take it back. Dean didn't understand where all this was coming from.

Dean decided he'd had enough of school for the day. He found himself sneaking out the back door of the school and driving his car to the grocery store alley without even realizing. As soon he parked the car, he was drinking the many beers from the cooler. There were maybe ten bottles and he downed them all in a matter of minutes.

As soon as he finished drinking, he regretted it. A vicious cycle that continued anytime his emotions rose. Dean wasn't one for talking things out. In fact, he'd rather hold it all in and drink himself to numbness than to admit weakness that came in the form of feelings.

Dean sat back in his seat. He must have sat there for an hour and a half. This was the most alcohol he'd ever ingested at one time and for the first time in a while, he felt drunk. He tried to think about what made him drink in the first place. He thought about his fight with Sam, the loneliness he felt, his dad's absence, and Cas. Thinking of these caused a mass of rage to swell in Dean's chest. It expanded and filled his vision with red. His breathing became ragged as he fought for control of the anger. And then, from outside the car came a call.

"Dean?"

Dean's head swiveled toward the noise. A figure stood just beyond the reach of the sunlight. He walked a bit closer and then Dean recognized who it was. It was Cas. The damn son of a bitch that put him in this state. He opened his door and got out the car. He stood unsteadily for a second and sneered in Cas's direction. He tried to say something. Anything to make Cas leave him alone. But all that came out was a slurred string of words that didn't even make sense to Dean. He tried to take a deep breath, but Cas kept walking closer. Dean just wanted him gone.

However, it seemed that Cas had gotten the message. He slowly began to back up into the sunlight of the other half of the alley. Dean tried to make himself look even more intimidating hoping to get it through that Cas was not welcomed here. As Cas reached the bright sunlit area, he shielded his eyes and looked toward the shadows that Dean was still immersed in. Dean turned around and began to get back into the car.

The sound of running feet and a "Hey!" reached his ears a second later. Thinking that Cas was running toward the car, Dean got out and turned toward where he'd last seen Cas standing. Instead, Dean saw a hooded figure in black dragging a body toward the back of the alley. The body was Cas. There was a pop from the arm that the figure was holding. He dropped the arm and sat on Cas's chest and began punching him.

Dean stumbled forward feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline that sobered him up. He rushed toward the other side of the alley near the back door of the store where the figure had dragged Cas into the shadows. Dean grabbed the man off of Cas's chest and hurled him against the side of the building. Before he could even look at the face of the man, Dean's feet were knocked from under him. He hit the concrete face first as the attacker ran off into the parking lot and out of sight. Dean cursed and managed to crawl over to Cas.

Blood covered his neck and face as his broken nose bled. His eyes blinked slowly and stared unseeing at the sky. Dean called out Cas's name over and over. He began yelling for help. He grabbed Cas's face and whispered that he needed to wake up. But Cas just sighed softly and his eyes closed. Dean felt for a pulse and felt weak with relief at the still rapid heartbeat.

Dean's yells attracted a young couple who came barreling down the alleyway. The man came and kneeled by Cas, asking Dean what had happened over and over. Dean found he couldn't speak due to the shock that made him dizzy. A woman was yelling into a phone the store's address and that they'd found a teen beaten bloody in an alley. Shoppers heard the commotion and ran over to the alley. Someone leaned next to Dean and tried to get his attention and ask if he was okay.

Sirens were soon heard as the police and ambulance showed up. Dean blinked as someone took his arm and tried to help him up. A cut on his forehead from hitting the ground was bleeding pretty badly and someone was dabbing at it with a cloth. A paramedic was trying to lead him to the car, but stopped and sniffed him. Everything was turning foggy as the adrenaline wore off. Dean swayed as the paramedic demanded to know if he was drunk. He attempted to turn and explain what happened when a violent pain in his head made him keel over. The alleyway turned black and the voices around him garbled and ceased.

Dean Winchester was beyond fucked.

* * *

**A/N:**

Happy New Years! The fact that it's 2013 is going to take a looooooooooong time to get used to.

I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter because I wasn't sure how I wanted it to work. I wasn't sure if I wanted to expose Dean's problem yet, but I think it works now.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to fit it into the story so here's sort of my take on Castiel's family:

Oldest to youngest siblings: Michael (adult age 26, teaches at high school), Gabriel (senior), Anna (junior), Castiel (sophomore). Michael, Gabriel, and Anna are all Miltons. I noticed that they all have green-hued eyes and blonde hair (Anna's is colored red so there has to be some assumptions made here). All the siblings share the same mother, who married twice (to Milton and then Novak). She dies after giving birth to Castiel leaving Mr. Novak with all the kids. He raises them under conservative and christian themes, but died when Cas was eight. Michael is by then an adult and is forced to take legal custody of his siblings as they have no family left.

Ack. That took me a while to fit everything together.

Hope everyone enjoys the new year!

-Brenna


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel sat up in bed with a book resting in his lap. His right arm was in a dark blue sling that matched the bruises on the side of his face. He closed the book slowly before setting it on the bedside table. He checked his watch and sighed.

It'd been two days since the incident. The doctor had decided to keep him there for a couple more days just to check on his shoulder and head. Cas's entire body ached with a dull throb and his head felt heavy with fatigue. Sleeping was actually very difficult with a sore shoulder.

A knock sounded at the door and Castiel called for them to come in. Dean followed a nurse into the room who pulled a chair up for him to sit next to Cas. She then smiled at the boys before closing the door.

Dean stood near the door and stared passively at Cas. The cut on his forehead had scabbed over and other than that he'd been fine. The police hadn't even charged him for underage drinking. They just gave him a warning and shook their heads as if to say, "We'll be back."

"I'm glad you could come, Dean," Cas started.

And with that, the gates flew open and everything came spilling out. Everything. The events that led up to Dean's presence at the store, the problems with his dad and brother, the drinking, and the attack itself. Dean paced and yelled. He threw his arms up in the air a couple of times and ran his hand through his hair. He stuttered and babbled until he started to feel better. But the best part was that _Cas was listening._ He didn't try to stop Dean and ask questions. He just let him talk when nobody else would let him. Nobody wanted to hear his side of the story; they just wanted to arrest him.

"Cas, you've got to believe me," Dean sputtered and finally dropped into the seat next to Cas's bed, "No one else believes me."

Castiel's face was devoid of emotion as he stared. Dean winced slightly at Cas's severe gaze. He fidgeted and looked down as the air hummed with slight tension.

"I believe you."

Green met blue as they exchanged a sudden understanding. Cas believed him. And at that moment, that's all that mattered to Dean. Cas cleared his throat and Dean looked away again and muttered a thank you.

"Is it true what you said about your dad?" Cas asked cautiously, but slight curiosity shone in his eyes.

Dean rubbed his eyes, "I don't even remember what I said, ok. I was sort of…blabbing."

Cas nodded his head slowly, "Well I wasn't going to press charges. I had a feeling you were innocent."

"You thought I was innocent?" Dean asked incredulously, "But all things pointed against me! I was drunk right before and no one saw another guy run out of the alley. Why would you think I was innocent?"

Cas's eyes flickered down, "I remember you saying my name and calling for help. It didn't seem like something a ruthless attacker would do."

He wasn't going to jail; like that one cop had threatened him with. Dean sat back in his chair in awe. But still, his heart sank. If he hadn't been so out of it, he might have been able to help Cas before he got the hell beaten out of him.

Dean started to rise from his chair, "Well if this spill-your-guts-out counselor meeting is over with, I have a…um thing I need to do." He turned around and began to walk towards the door silently cursing for basically admitting everything to Cas.

"Dean," Cas called out, "one more thing."

Dean stopped at the door with one hand on the doorknob. He swallowed before turning around and gesturing that he was listening. Their eyes met for a brief second and Dean swore the air got hard to breathe.

"Don't be alone," Cas began, "You need to move on from all of those things you told me about."

Nodding slowly, Dean opened the door and left the room without another word.

* * *

Of course, the school gossips pounced on the chance to make Dean Winchester into the town filth. The second he was back in school, vicious rumors circled the classrooms. Notes explaining and exaggerating the Novak-Winchester ordeal filled the trash cans as the word slowly spread.

Sometimes, it felt like he was walking through a crowd of angry hyenas. They laughed and jeered and stared at him as if he was fresh meat. All those guys that he'd made feel small were suddenly surrounding him and pushing him into lockers. Dean might have avoided jail, but the school still punished him. And probation was a bitch. You couldn't do anything that might make someone upset. And sadly, that included giving those ass-hats what they were asking for.

Cas came back to school four days after the incident. His face was still one giant purple bruise with a little yellowing on the outside. He wore his dark blue sling and a regular shirt and jeans as opposed to the usual button down and slacks. The girls, of course, fawned over him and glared at Dean any chance they could. While Cas tried to explain to them what really happened, no one believed that it wasn't Dean.

Even Dean's own family was skeptical of his story. After a while, he finished answering questions and accusations and the police finally dropped the case. Dean was finally home and he could finally get some sleep. But, Bobby came upstairs and just glared at Dean. For maybe thirty minutes, he just leaned against the wall and glared.

After a quick "If you ever steal my beer again, I'll kick your ass to next Wednesday", Bobby stalked out of Dean's room.

Not long after that, Sam knocked on the door timidly. He looked at the floor and refused to meet Dean's eyes.

"Sam, I'm not dead. Stop acting like your cat just died," Dean snapped after two minutes of silence.

"Dean," Sam started, "Why'd you do it? What could you possibly gain from beating a guy half to death?"

Dean gave Sam a wary look, "I told you what happened, Sammy. I didn't touch him."

Sam still stared at the floor, "And drunk? Like dad?"

Dean stood up from where he sat on the bed, "Sam we are not talking about that again. Now leave."

Sam swallowed angrily before slamming the door shut.

Why did the only person to believe him happen to be the one person that frustrated Dean to no end?

* * *

**A/N:**

I have a love/hate relationship with writing.

Sometimes, inspiration is flowing and everything sounds nice and fits together perfectly.

And then there's like 95% of the time where I sit staring at my laptop for an hour, say "fuck this", and spend most of the day watching supernatural.

I really should start getting ahead in the chapters. Like at least writing them out ahead of time since there's only five more days of break and three of those are jam-packed.

I need to stop socializing so I can focus on writing fanfiction. Yes. Good.

I would like to thank everyone that has read, reviewed, favorited, and followed the story! I'm extremely unpopular in reality, so the fact that there is someone other than myself that wants to spend their time reading my awful writing really warms my heart.

I finally started season seven of supernatural yesterday. This season is fucking breaking my heart. Make it stop pls.

Going to go cry and watch more because I'm actually a masochist.

-Brenna


	7. Chapter 7

The air was extremely heavy and Dean's breath came in short gasps. He felt the warm waves of another body close to his and he sighed loudly. Their lips met and Dean felt a hand slide under his shirt. His lips tangled with the other persons and their tongues battled for dominance. The hand under his shirt slowly made its way toward his back as it lightly touched his spine. The touch was electrifying and Dean clutched the face of the stranger with passion. After a moment, he took his mouth away and tried to get a look at the other person. The darkened room made it nearly impossible to see. Then the figure spoke.

"Dean."

Dean froze. He knew that voice and yet here it sent shivers down his spine.

"Dean."

What was going on? Dean looked around and tried to see through the dark that felt like it was slowly closing in on him. He looked back at the stranger and could only see their piercing blue eyes. The hand on his back suddenly burned and Dean tried to get out of their grasp. A buzzing sound started that made the room vibrate. The stranger's face changed suddenly and they were looking at Dean with wide scared eyes.

"Dean!"

"Dean, Aunt Karen's been calling you to get up."

Sam stood in the doorway as Dean sat up in bed. No longer in the dark, Dean blinked rapidly at Sam trying to understand what he was saying.

"Dean did you hear-"

"Yeah, Sammy I heard you," Dean pulled himself out of bed as Sam slammed the door shut. He tried to remember his dream, but all that came back to him was the stranger's familiar blue eyes. Dean ran a hand through his hair as he desperately tried to remember the voice that was calling to him. And then, it hit him.

What the hell.

Cas stood in front of locker 1549 and slowly turned the dial. It had been about a week since he'd come back to school and he looked better with each coming day. His black eyes healed and only a slight yellow ring remained. The bruises on his face had healed a bit and were green and yellow rather than the spectacular blues and purples of last week. His stitches were taken out and all that really remained was his sling.

Just around the corner, Dean leaned against the wall. School had ended ten minutes ago, but he had to wait for Bobby to pick him up. After the incident, Karen had forbidden Dean from driving for the rest of the month.

Books tumbled out of Cas's locker and to the floor as papers scattered away from him. Dean turned toward the sound and saw a flustered Cas attempting to hold three textbooks with his left hand and pick up the papers and books with his barely usable right hand.

The hallway was mostly empty and the papers were everywhere. Dean sighed. Someone had to help him, right? He began picking up the papers as Cas watched looking uncomfortable that he wasn't much help. Dean stacked the books and papers on top of each other in Cas's locker and started to walk away.

"Dean?"

Something stirred in Dean as he froze in his tracks. It was the same voice from his dream. He slowly turned back around to face Cas and his breath hitched slightly when their eyes met. Green and blue. Normally, Cas's intense gaze would have weirded Dean out, but now he didn't know what to feel.

"Did you follow my advice?"

Dean shook his head and breathed in, "Sorry, what?"

"My advice. That I gave you at the hospital."

"And what was that exactly?"

Cas inclined his head slightly, "That you should move on? That you shouldn't be alone?"

Dean chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Um, not exactly."

Cas narrowed his eyes, "Dean," he started.

"Listen Cas, I don't need you telling me what to do. I can get over this. You're not pressing charges, so there's no reason for us to talk anymore. OK?"

Cas looked down and fidgeted. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. He began to walk away when Cas called out to him again.

"What if I did press charges?"

Dean stopped. Fear and anger coursed through his veins. He turned around slowly.

"If you what?" He stalked toward Cas so they stood inches apart.

Cas swallowed, "Pressed charges."

"And why would you do that?" Dean and Cas were now face to face and neither was backing down.

"You said there's no reason for us to talk if I'm not pressing charges. So what if I was?"

And then it clicked. Cas wasn't threatening. He just wanted someone to talk to. Dean shook his head. Cas just wanted to talk to him?

"Winchester, step away from Novak."

Dean and Cas turned to see two teachers were walking quickly to where the teens stood still face to face. Dean stepped back quickly remembering his dream. He cleared his throat and whispered to Cas.

"If you want to talk, meet me outside the school."

With that, Dean strode out of the school's back entrance that was to the left of the lockers. The two teachers came over to Cas and demanded to know what happened. Apparently, they were one of the many people in the school who still believed it was Dean who hurt Cas. After assuring the teachers that they had just been talking, Cas slipped out the back entrance and looked around.

The back entrance of the school was flanked by trees and couldn't be seen from the road through the thick foliage. Dean leaned against one of the many trees and seemed lost in thought. Cas walked over to where Dean stood.

Dean looked at him suspiciously, "No charges?"

Cas smiled a bit and looked at the ground, "No charges."

Dean rubbed his jaw and looked thoughtful, "You had me going there, for a second."

"Going where?" Cas asked a bit confused.

Dean raised his eyebrows and tried to figure out if this guy was for real, "Never mind."

Cas walked over so he stood shoulder to shoulder with Dean. Goosebumps rose along Dean's skin and he hoped desperately they were from the cold. Cas leaned back against the wide tree with Dean.

Dean nodded slowly, "Nice chat."

"Sometimes you just need to be alone with someone."

"I thought you said I shouldn't be alone."

"Just not alone like you were alone in your car."

That silenced Dean. Cas was keeping him company. After his dream the past night, Dean felt more confused than ever.

Cas turned slightly so he was almost breathing down Dean's neck, "Have you been feeling better?"

Dean jumped a bit at a honk coming from the road. He looked around the tree to see Bobby parked along the road waiting for him. Dean looked back and Cas and started to back away.

"Personal space, Cas. And I'm fine."

With that, Dean headed towards Bobby's car and wiped at the spot of his neck that had felt Cas's breath. And as Dean walked away, Cas sighed and tried not to look too disappointed that his time with Dean was up.

* * *

**A/N:**

****This chapter's a bit shorter than I had wanted it to be, but my social life interrupted my writing. I had to drive my mom to the grocery store to get driving hours and then my friends and I got manicures, dinner, and went bowling until almost eleven at night. I'm beyond tired, but I really wanted to get another chapter out.

I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE A DESTIEL SCENE. EVEN IF IT WAS A DREAM? still counts.

I've been waiting for this moment. I love them so much that I was flailing as I wrote this. They are too perf.

Wait, Dean is feELIng? fEElINgS? whAT DO DeAn?

Ack. I don't know why, but I liked writing this. Emotional confusion and make out scenes just make a girl's day.

Reached 1000 views today C: Thank you so much! I probably would've reached it faster except that I accidentally deleted chapter two whilst fixing a problem and had to add it back. Ugh. I am soooooo not tech savvy. It's embarrassing really.

Tomorrow, I'm off to the gym to get ready for a 5k saturday that will literally leave me beyond tired. So hopefully, I can post two chapters tomorrow to make up for a possible lack thereof saturday.

Goodnight my lovely readers!

-Brenna


	8. Chapter 8

**Late November**

The air was crisp and cool as Dean pulled into the school parking lot. He was met with usual glares and whispers that accompanied him wherever he'd gone since school began. Maybe it was just him, but fewer people looked at him now. It could be just the lethargic crowd of teenagers simply too tired from break to notice Dean Winchester walking into to school. Or maybe, they simply stopped caring. Whatever it was, Dean took it in stride.

It was late November and school had begun again after Thanksgiving break. Truthfully, the last thing Dean wanted to do was wake up and spend seven hours at a place where he hated almost everyone. Fortunately, there was something to look forward to every morning. Retreating from the cool morning air, Dean made his way into the school and to the refuge that an empty storage closet provided. Thirty minutes until first period. He could do this.

Dean stood there in the semi-darkness, shifting from one foot to another and constantly checking his watch. Feeling slightly panicky, even though this had been a regular occurrence for about a month and a half now, Dean began pacing. After five minutes, Dean decided something awful had happened. He opened the door and ran into someone as they attempted to walk in through the door.

Immediately knowing who it was, Dean grabbed the other person's shoulders forcefully and shoved them into the room. He closed and locked the door before flicking the light switch off and turning toward Castiel Novak.

In the dim red light given off by the tiny exit sign above the door, they stared at each other. Dean's heartbeat rose and he felt a familiar flush. He stared hungrily at Cas who dressed in jeans and a regular white shirt with his hair mussed as if he'd just rolled out of bed. Their eyes met in that dim red light and Dean decided he couldn't wait any longer.

He took a step and pulled Cas forward by his shirt until their lips met. It began slowly at first, but it then built up an intensity that almost scared Dean. But at the same time, it thrilled him almost as much as drinking used to. Cas peeled off Dean's jacket and threw it somewhere off to the side before running his hands through Dean's hair. Dean pushed Cas against the wall and deepened the kiss, desperately trying to communicate through the bruising kisses and gasping breaths what he'd been trying to say for weeks.

When the five-minute bell rang, nobody noticed two teenage boys slip out of the storage closet and into the crowd. They both went separate ways and never acknowledged each other except in those stolen minutes before school began.

He wasn't even halfway through with the school year, and Dean was positive he wouldn't survive.

* * *

**October 1st**

It was a warmer than usual Saturday morning. The first day of October dawned bright and way too early for Dean's taste. He smacked his lips sleepily and reluctantly rolled out of bed, his head pounding with fatigue and dehydration. After a quick shower and a couple of pain pills, Dean made his way to the kitchen. Sam sat at the table reading the back of a cereal box and shoveling its contents into his mouth.

Dean shook his head his brother and walked toward the fridge, "Nerd."

Sam looked up with a mouthful of corn flakes, "Whah?"

"Chew, Sammy," Dean teased as he searched the fridge.

Sam swallowed and asked, "Why am I a nerd?"

Dean smirked, "When are you not a nerd?"

Sam laughed sarcastically before slurping down the rest of his cereal and picking up the duffel bag that sat at his feet.

"Ok, I'm ready," Sam said as he hefted the bag and walked towards the door

"Ready for what, exactly?" Dean asked as he turned around with a large glass of water.

"My soccer game? Where I go every Saturday?"

"Alright then, don't lose. Have fun."

Sam looked confused for a moment, "You said you'd come to my game, remember?"

Dean narrowed his eyes and tried to remember last night. His head still throbbed and he vaguely remembered Sam coming in and Dean trying to act normal. Apparently in his drunken state, Dean had agreed to take his brother to his soccer game. Talk about a fun way to spend your Saturday morning.

Dean took in a breath and smiled convincingly, "Let's get going then!" Sam smiled and headed out the door and Dean grumbled miserably because really, who wanted to spend their Saturday morning at a middle school soccer game with a hangover.

But, Sammy was excited because Dean never came to his games and the last thing Dean wanted was for Sam to find out he'd said yes in a drunken haze.

It'd been almost a month since the Castiel incident and most of those who'd accused Dean were now on some other poor sap who'd made a bad decision and suddenly he was old news. It hadn't been desirable, the itchiness of a town staring at your neck everywhere you went. You get accused for beating the shit out of a teenager that belonged to the most devout christian family in South Dakota and then BAM, you have the plague. Everyone either glares at you in disgust, or they avoid you and try not to breathe the same air as the teenage drunk.

But truthfully, Dean had stopped caring whether they stared or not. The ever-expanding hole in his chest practically filled his entire being, and Dean ignored it because that, from personal experience, was the only way to deal with these things. Put on a mask of indifference and suck it up because it certainly wasn't getting any better. Even though he was old news, people still talked. And Dean still ignored.

Sam's soccer team lost and Dean played supportive older brother even though with every encouraging yell, his head throbbed violently. He yelled with other parents and tried really hard to play the role he'd been lacking at the past couple of years. He whooped when one of Sam's teammates scored a goal and groaned loudly when the other team scored three in a row.

After the game, Sam hung back and joked with some friends. Dean sat on the hood of car waiting for Sam and he couldn't help but notice something. Sam wasn't Dean in the slightest. It was obvious to anyone that Sam had a life. He had friends whom he actually talked to and his grades didn't suck. His optimism was infectious and soon he had the downtrodden team laughing loudly and smiling at each other while they fantasized about winning next weeks game. Dean couldn't help the bubble of envy that sprouted in his chest. But a moment later, happiness replaced it because this what their dad would've wanted. Sammy living a normal life and not knowing about the awful things that filled Dean's nightmares.

A hand lightly touched Dean's shoulder and he jumped and looked to his right. A woman he recognized as one of the soccer mom's for Sam's team had walked over to him.

"I'm planning on taking the team out for pizza since it's almost noon," she said smiling a bit, "I'll take Sam home, so there's no need to stay."

Dean nodded and thanked her before jumping off his car hood. He got in his car and started it, feeling the familiar roar that he had missed up until today. It being October first, Dean's punishment was officially over and he could drive his baby around all he wanted. Feeling free, Dean patted the wheel to the beat of some song that was stuck in his head and he smiled. He looked over toward Sam's soccer team and saw a group of mom's standing together talking. The mom who'd just talked to Dean was pointing toward his car and the other mother's looked disapprovingly in his direction and frowned at each as they continued to talk. It was painfully obvious they weren't happy he was there. The bit of euphoria Dean had felt for a split second was gone and he drove back home, the gaping hole with ragged raw edges slowly swirling away at his conscience and filling him to the brim with loneliness.

* * *

Gabriel laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling with a look of absolute loathing on his face. Castiel sat at the desk next to the bed and stared out the window, his emotions scraped cleanly from his face as he let Gabriel rant on.

"I can't believe Anna just let him do that," Gabriel snarled as he shook his head slowly.

Cas sighed, "I'm sure she's just as angry as the rest-"

"But that's just it! She's angry, but she's still letting Michael do it!" Gabriel interrupted. He sat up and glared at Cas before continuing. "She loved that stupid writing class more than anything, Cas. And it isn't fair that Michael's making her drop it! I mean she finally stood up for herself by telling Michael that she didn't want to follow any of his rules anymore, and she just gives up when he drops her from the class? What happened to fighting for what you believe in or whatever?" Gabriel laid back down with an angry huff.

Cas rubbed his forehead, "Anna will think of something. She always does." He looked wearily at the ground and sighed. He looked back at Gabriel and was surprised to see his features carved with defeat.

"I hate all the fighting," Gabriel began quietly, "I mean sometimes I just want to run away from it all. Michael, his rules, what he wants from us..." Gabriel scoffed bitterly after a moment. "Did you know he doesn't want me leaving after the school years over, Cas? He wants me to stay and learn theology from _him_."

Cas looked taken aback for a moment. "I thought you were going to go college?"

Gabriel's mouth twitched, "Me too, Cassie."

They sat together in the silence for a moment when Gabriel couldn't bear it any longer. He grabbed his jacket that hung on the door knob, yelled something about going out to Michael, and a moment later the front entry door could be heard slamming shut.

Slowly, Cas got up and left Gabriel's room. He decided it would be best to check on Anna and he headed toward her room at the end of the long hallway. Cas hated the hallway more than any other place in the house. It smelled of mothballs and the walls were covered in faded grapevine wallpaper. The yellow hall light buzzed and the floorboards creaked. It looked as though an old woman had lived here before Michael moved them here a year ago following Cas's dad's death in Pontiac, Illinois.

Anna's room was probably Cas's favorite room. Even though Michael had lectured her over and over, she continued to paste odd newspaper clippings all over the room to cover up the ugly pink paisley wallpaper. Three of the walls had articles pasted entirely over them.  
Some were yellowed with age and ripped in certain places. Many were in foreign languages and a lot of them were articles that Anna had found interesting, such as mysterious deaths and kidnappings. Sometimes, Cas came in and would get distracted by a 1972 article about a city in Massachusetts where a woman swore she saw a man standing in the window of her burning house or a small faded picture of six little girls lost fifty years ago and never found. Now, Anna stood in the middle of the room surveying the last wall of the room that was only halfway done.

Cas knocked gently on the open door. "Anna?"

Anna turned around and smiled strangely at Cas. She walked over and hugged him before going back to surveying the wall.

Cas cocked his head, confused. "Is everything all right?"

Anna turned back towards Cas and whispered, "I have a plan."

"What is it?" Cas whispered back, curious but slightly wary of Anna's plans. Most of the time, they didn't go so well.

Anna's smile disappeared and she busied herself with a stack of paper on her desk. "I can't tell you, Castiel."

Cas looked taken aback. "Why?"

Anna sighed, "I can't, okay. This is only going to work if I'm the only one in on it. You just have to trust me." Anna patted Cas's shoulder and shooed him out of the room. Cas drifted downstairs and felt uneasy. He could hear Michael shuffling around papers and books in his office near the back of the house. Cas walked towards the office and knocked quietly on the door.

"Come in," Michael called wearily.

Michael sat at a large wooden desk and was flipping through a large and rather dusty leather book. He had notes scattered about the desk and a large box of leather books sat to his right on the floor. Though in his late twenties, Michael had a few stray gray hairs mixed in with his slightly ruffled blonde hair. He looked as if he hadn't slept well in a couple of days and Cas felt a bit of sympathy toward his older half-brother.

"What's going on, Cas?" Michael asked closing the large book and leaning back in his chair.

Slowly, Cas took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Anna's strange smile burned on the inside of his eyelids. He had come in here bent on telling Michael his fear that Anna was up to something bad. But looking at him closely, Michael's eyes still smoldered with anger and Cas could still here his yells mixed with Anna's.

"Cas?"

Cas's eyes snapped open. "Would it be alright if I took a walk around town?"

Michael looked at his brother carefully. He hesitated for a moment but then sighed, "Be back before dinner, please."

Cas thanked him and left the room. It was almost noon now and Cas tried to think of something he could do. He didn't really have any friends and there wasn't much to do in Sioux Falls. Maybe Cas just needed a walk to clear his head. He opened the front door and began down the street, away from the house when a voice called to him.

"Castiel!"

Cas looked back at the house and saw Anna balancing on the sloped roof that her window led out to. Cas's heart jumped and ran back over to the house. Anna maneuvered her way toward the side of the room and began climbing down the drain pipe without so much as creak from either roof nor pipe.

She smiled her normal smile at Cas now and he felt himself relax a bit.

Anna raised her eyebrows mischievously, "I heard you talking to Michael and decided that maybe instead of walking alone, you should come with me."

"Where?"

"The mall!"

Cas's brow furrowed, "And why am I accompanying you to the mall?"

Anna smirked, "It's apart of my plan that I decided to include you in after all."

They walked over to Anna's car and Anna asked if Cas knew where Gabriel went. Cas shrugged and got into the passenger seat.

Once Anna had backed out of the driveway and was en route to the mall, Cas spoke up.

"What are we getting at the mall?"

"We're getting you a new wardrobe."

Cas looked down at his white polo shirt and khakis. "What's wrong with my clothes, now?"

Anna sighed, "They're not your clothes. They're just clothes that Michael makes you wear because he has some insane belief that he's going to raise you like your dad basically raised him." Anna stopped talking abruptly and they drove for a moment in silence.

They rarely mentioned Cas's dad anymore. He'd disappeared suddenly back when Cas was eight in Pontiac, Illinois and when he never came home, he was assumed dead and Michael forced to take care of his three younger siblings. Their mom had died right after Cas was born and Michael, Gabriel, and Anna's dad had left their mother. Cas could barely remember his dad. When he imagined him, he always took Michael's form. Michael always talked highly of Cas's dad since he'd practically been raised by him. No matter how hard he tried, Cas couldn't remember his father who'd abandoned them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring him up," Anna said quietly after a couple of minutes.

"It's nothing," Cas said knowing that Anna hadn't meant any harm.

"It's just, Gabe and I talked about this," Anna sighed, "He's leaving at the end of the school year and I leave after that. We have to try to change some of Michael's rules. It's not fair that you should have to face them by yourself."

"Gabriel isn't leaving," Cas said quietly.

Anna froze. Cas guessed that Gabriel hadn't told her yet about Michael's plan for him.

Cas continued, "Michael wants him to stay here and learn theology."

Anna shook her head angrily, "This proves it. Michael needs to stop trying to force his way into our lives. So, we'll start simple. We'll stop following his clothing rules. No more khakis, dress pants, white button downs, polos-"

"But that's my whole closet," Cas commented.

Anna held up a blue plastic card stamped with the name MICHAEL MILTON on it. Cas's eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Guess we'll be needing this," Anna sang.

* * *

**A/N:**

****Oh my gosh. This chapter took me so much longer than I thought. I know I promised two chapters a week ago, but things got pretty hectic and I changed up the story a bit.

I did well in my 5k last saturday, but I was so tired I had no energy to even open my laptop. And then my parents dragged me around to furniture stores and I fell asleep in chairs at ikea. I started school tuesday and I am so stressed. I am currently procrastinating on a european history chapter that I have a quiz on tomorrow because, come on, Destiel is so much better than Austrian conservatism.

I have found the best destiel fics the past week and I was up until five am yesterday trying to finish one. I love them so muchasjrasf.

Also, Jensen and Jared were so incredibly cute at the People's Choice Awards wednesday. And our fandom won and BABY ACKLES IS ON THE WAY AND GEN GOT A TWITTER SO I AM HAPPY WITH EVERYTHINGGG

I desperately want to write this weekend because I came up with an even better ending for the story than already planned and I'm itching to write but I have two tests and a project due next week so I may not have time:(

Thank you everyone who has read this and followed the story. It seriously warms my heart that people are reading this and every time I get an email alerting a new follower, I flail because you guys are so great.

SO YEAH. DESTIEL MAKE OUT SESSIONS IN THE STORAGE CLOSET BEFORE SCHOOL. Buuuuuttttt, that scene takes place a month and a half from where the story actually is now;)

We still need their first kiss okokokokok. I'm so excited to write itajsfasdgfsjdgkgsd FEELS

ok i really should get to work on my homework since it's 1:30am

have a wonderful day lovelies c:

-Brenna


	9. Chapter 9

Cas picked nervously at the hem of his shirt as Anna pulled into the student parking lot. The first Monday of October was overcast and slightly chilly and Cas wished he hadn't forgotten his jacket. Anna had been so quick to get them out of the house and past Michael that Cas forgot not only his jacket, but his chemistry textbook as well. He wasn't very happy that he was now heavily involved with Anna's plan, but family was family and Cas wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he didn't help.

Anna gestured for Cas to get out of the car as Gabriel parked in the space next to their car. Cas stood next to Anna and focused on the ground and tried to ignore the cold wind that made his skin prickle and breath turn to frost. Gabriel leaned against his car and surveyed Cas with slightly teasing eyes.

"Looking good, bro," Gabriel smirked and crossed his arms. He turned to say something to Anna who glared disapprovingly at his choice of dress. Gabriel was dressed in his usual Sunday best, the dress code Michael required to show their focus was on God and not their looks.

"We're supposed to be rebelling, Gabe," Anna snapped as she smacked his arm, "So I guess it's just me and Cas?"

The teasing look in Gabriel's eyes faded and he arranged his features into one of indifference. "I'm not on either of your sides in this fight, Anna." And with that, Gabriel turned and walked toward the school, leaving Anna fuming.

"You know why it can't just be me rebelling, Cas," Anna started her voice shaking slightly with anger, "Michael has acted like some high and mighty god for eight years now. He can't just mess with our lives like this. We should be able to make our own choices, this isn't just about some silly dress code or him taking me out of that journalism class. That was the last straw. And if Gabriel thinks this is just some petty fight, it's not."

Cas narrowed his eyes and looked up at Anna. "Then what is it?"

Anna smiled mischievously. "This is war."

* * *

Dean, as usual per Monday, did not want to get out of bed. The gloomy weather certainly didn't help motivate him and the wind that rattled the old window frame made Dean shiver as he pushed himself deeper into the warmth of his bed. It wasn't that he wanted to sleep, in fact Dean couldn't remember the last time he slept well. He just didn't want to get out of bed and face a world as cold as wind.

His eyes were unfocused but still open when Karen let herself into the room a quarter til seven am.

"Dean," Karen started exasperated, "I've been calling you! I have to leave to do errands and I wanted you up before I left and here you are still in bed-" She stopped when she saw Dean hadn't even acknowledged her presence in the room. Her eyebrows knitted together when she saw his open eyes and vacant expression. She walked towards the bed and put her hand on his forehead to check for a fever.

Before she could even register Dean's temperature, he jumped and realized she was in his room.

"Are you feeling well, Dean?" Karen asked with concern.

Dean looked up and took a deep breath. He definitely wasn't going to tell her about the strange dreams that had plagued him since the incident. Not only dreams about Cas, but dreams about Sam and his dad. Awful and horrible dreams filled with dark creatures hidden in the shadows. He could hear his mother screaming in all the dreams, like some sick background music and sometimes it was joined in a chorus of his entire family's yells of pain as they were tortured by figures with glowing eyes. No, Karen didn't need to know about that.

Dean rubbed his back of neck and muttered something about not sleeping due to rattling window frame. Karen rolled her eyes playfully and patted his arm.

"I'm off to do my errands, so please make sure you get to school," Karen called over her shoulder as she walked to the door. She smiled at Dean before closing the door. As soon as the door closed, Dean deflated and rubbed the slight stubble on his cheeks. The stillness of the room made Dean's skin itch, so he finally got off his bed and got ready for school.

After a shower, change of clothes, and a quick swig from a flask containing god knows what, Dean strode out of the house and started to unlock his car. The cold air felt tense and he could hear Bobby talking angrily on the phone in the shed where he ran his car fixing business. Dean tried to catch part of the conversation, but Bobby's voice was too quiet for him to make out any words. Shrugging off the weird feeling that had begun to creep upon him, Dean got into his car and drove to school.

As Dean pulled into the school parking lot, he noticed Anna, Cas's sister, walking angrily towards the school entrance with someone Dean didn't recognize trailing behind her. After parking his car, Dean sat there for a second staring at the back of the figure talking to Anna. A thought occurred to Dean, but he dismissed it almost immediately. Because there's no way that it was Cas. Cas didn't wear incredibly tight jeans and sneakers. He most certainly didn't wear a white shirt that revealed tan arms. Dean was almost positive Cas even slept in his dress pants and button up shirts. So there's no way that messy dark-haired teenager was Cas, right?

The-guy-that-couldn't-possibly-be-Cas continued talking to Anna who finally turned away and stormed into the building. He then ran a hand through his messy hair and turned around toward the parking lot, taking in a huge breath with closed eyes. Dean's heart nearly stopped.

What the hell.

Dean quickly got out of the car and felt as if someone had just poured a bucket of cold water on him. He grabbed his backpack out of the trunk and locked the car before walking over to where Cas stood.

* * *

Cas rubbed his eyes and started to turn around toward the school when he caught sight of Dean coming. His breath caught in his throat and he swallowed the lump in his throat before Dean came to stand next to him.

"Cas," Dean started but never finished. He looked dumbstruck as he stared at Cas, who flushed slightly when he realized why. He had gotten the "complete makeover" in Anna's words. She threw away all of his button ups, church pants, and dress shoes and replaced his entire closet with plain t-shirts, sneakers of sorts, and (in his opinion) too tight jeans. Anna had even broken his favorite comb that he'd used to keep his bed head in check. Now, his hair stood up wildly in random places. Cas nervously flattened his hair and shivered. He really wished he'd remembered to bring his jacket.

"Yes," Cas muttered, "Anna threw away all my old clothes and replaced them." His cheeks felt warm as he ducked his head to avoid seeing Dean's face. This was the last thing he had wanted.

Cas felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and Dean smiled and patted his arm.

"It's a nice change, Cas."

Cas wanted to thank him, but right then the wind picked up viciously and the cold cut into him. He shivered violently for a moment and rubbed his bare arms. Dean raised his eyebrows and looked at his arms. His sight lingered on Cas's arms for a moment before tearing his eyes away to sweep the vicinity of the school entrance. Everyone had retreated to the warmth of the building even though class didn't start for another ten minutes. Dean dropped his backpack on the ground and started to take off his jacket. Cas realized what he was doing and started to protest, but Dean just shoved the jacket toward him and picked up his bag. Cas stared at the jacket. It was about three sizes too big and was made of a supple brown leather and best of all, it was warm. Cas placed his own backpack on the ground and shrugged on the huge jacket.

The look in Dean's eyes was unreadable, but he smiled slightly at Cas and without another word headed into the building.

Cas grabbed his bag and walked slowly toward first period English. The jacket smelled like old leather and beer, but underneath it was an underlying musky scent that must have Dean. Cas breathed in and walked through the doors into the school. It was as rowdy and loud as ever, but Cas was still replaying the last few moments in his head. He had tried to talk some sense into Anna because truthfully, Cas wished he could side with Gabriel on this and not proclaim a side. But, Anna had just gotten angry with him and so in the end he agreed that it would all go on as planned and Anna stormed into the building.

But what Cas was about to do paled in comparison to the overwhelming scent of Dean surrounding him. He breathed in and out. In and out. In. Out. He could do this.

It was after fourth period that the plan would take place. Cas had algebra fourth period and chemistry fifth. To get to chemistry from algebra, Cas had to pass the theology classroom that Michael stood outside to greet his students as they walked in. Anna had Michael's class fifth so after Cas walked by, she would come and essentially save him if Michael decided to freak out. If he ignored it, which Anna highly doubted, then Anna could go ahead with step two of her plan which, thankfully, did not involve Cas.

Cas waited nervously through his first four periods only comforted by the faded leather around his shoulders. The bell rang loud and clear to signal the end of fourth period and a sense of dread made Cas's stomach clench. He never disobeyed, not really. Cas followed orders when they were given and didn't question why. But lately, he was starting to see the other side of things. Still, his fingers shook slightly as he gathered up his papers and shuffled out of the classroom. Chemistry was at the end of the long hall and he could already see Michael standing at his room's door saying goodbye to his last class. Breathe, in and out.

The hallway never seemed so long at that moment. But, Cas walked anyway. He tried to walk normally, head slightly down and arms at his sides as he maneuvered between shouting students. He refused to look up from the floor, if only because he didn't want to see Michael's face if he noticed. Cas kept walking, hoping he was getting close to his classroom. Finally, he looked up slightly and saw that he'd passed Michael's room already and chemistry was only two doors down. Not willing to take a chance, Cas sped up to get into the classroom quickly.

Just then, a hand gripped his upper arm and jerked him backwards slightly. The hand pulled his jacket off his shoulders and Cas turned around and found himself face to face with a furious Michael.

"Is this Winchester's?" Michael hissed.

Cas was caught off guard by the question. He had been waiting for a lecture on his jean's tightness or his unruly hair or his rumpled shirt, but this was not apart of any of the scenarios Anna had planned.

Over Michael's shoulder, Cas saw Anna storming over with a determined look on her face. Horrified, Cas tried to say something, but all that came out was a stuttered, "Let me explain". Anna stood next to Cas and crossed her arms.

"Michael, we have had-" Anna stopped when she saw what Michael was holding. More than anything in the world, Cas wanted to be able to vanish on the spot.

"Cas?" Michael asked quietly. The hallway was mostly empty now and Cas could see there was nowhere else to go. He could be late now since technically, he was with a teacher and Michael could write him a late pass. Cas stared at the jacket and refused to meet Anna and Michael's eyes.

Anna cleared her throat. "Cas, isn't that Dean Winchester's jacket? He wears it every day..."

Cas swallowed. "Yes."

Michael leaned in very close to Cas's face. "And why were you wearing that delinquent's jacket?" he asked very quietly, his voice radiating with disappointment.

Cas muttered something about being cold and Michael took a deep breath.

"Cas, don't you remember barely a month ago? When he basically left you for dead in an alley?"

Fury coursed through Cas's veins and he reached and snatched Dean's jacket from his brother's grip. Why didn't anyone believe him? Without another word, Cas turned away from them and walked down the hallway. He was skipping chemistry, but he knew he couldn't be around anyone now. Embarrassment, anger, and guilt churned in his stomach and his breath rattled as he tried to breathe through the choking fury.

He exited the hall and walked around the school until he found an empty storage closet on the other side of the building. It was dark except for the tiny red glowing exit sign above the door. Cas tossed Dean's jacket to the other side of the room and swiped angrily at his shirt that still smelled of the leather. He ran a hand through his hair and slid down the wall facing the door with a groan. He knew he would regret missing chemistry today, but Cas just couldn't face anybody now. Breathe in and out. In. Out. Even breathing seemed hard now.

Steps echo just outside the door and the handle turned slowly. Cas scrambled to stand back up and attempt to explain his storming off to Michael and Anna, who he assumed were coming in. He was slightly surprised to see a concerned Dean Winchester stick his head into the room as he flipped the light switch on.

"Cas?"

* * *

**A/N:**

A million apologies for the delay on this chapter. I wanted to try to get a chapter out a week, but so much has come up.

First of all, I had written about a thousand words near the end of last week when my laptop crashed and I hadn't saved it. I came back to find it all gone and not even auto-save had managed to catch a word. So I basically scraped my original idea for a new one which actually came out a lot better.

Ugh I love Dean's old leather jacket so much and it literally kills me that someone stole it. Like who the fuck does that.

I am officially caught up with Supernatural. I have never felt so fulfilled in my entire life. And tomorrow marks the watching of my first episode on the television!

This entire chapter was typed up whilst listening to the Bon Iver and Oren Lavie pandora station which are sort of melancholy-esque music, so that sort of influenced the chapter a bit. A bunch of stuff is supposed to happen in the next chapter that I've thankfully started (and saved) so I should be able to get that up around friday or the weekend after I finish some heavy chapter readings for school.

School is dictating my life and I've barely had time to write. It feels so good to have my fingers flying back across the keyboard.

leather jackets and skinny love,

Brenna c:


	10. Chapter 10

"Cas?"

Dean had sworn he'd seen him run into here, the old empty storage closet that once held stacks of rotting textbooks and broken desks, and when he flipped on the light switch his thoughts are confirmed by the trembling figure scrabbling to stand against the wall.

"D-Dean," Cas stuttered and leaned against the wall relieved that it was only him. Dean checked the hallway for any stray students or faculty before shutting the door. He noticed his jacket laying in a crumpled heap on the floor against the wall with the light switch. Dean picked it up and dusted it off before replacing it back on the floor with his backpack. He turned toward Cas who refused to meet his eyes.

"I meant to give your jacket back," Cas muttered.

Dean sighed. "What's wrong, Cas? And no bullshit." His own concern startled Dean a bit, but he brushed it away and didn't waver his gaze though Cas refused to meet it.

"It's a long story," Cas sighed as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Curiosity ate at Dean for a moment and he found himself sitting on the cold concrete floor. "I've got time."

And it all comes out with those three words. Like vomit, Cas couldn't stem the sudden outflow of words from his mouth. And he doesn't start with today, he starts at the beginning. How he was born the first child of a second marriage and the last child of a mother. His father's love that never really touched him as it touched Michael. His struggle with his father's sudden abandonment and apparent death. Michael and his restricting rules in a desperate attempt to gain some sort of order. Anna's plan to use him to dispose of Michael's reign. Everything except Michael's outrage at Cas for having Dean's jacket. But, that hadn't seemed important. At least, not important enough to say during the heart-to-heart. Other than that, Cas told him everything.

And then Dean listened. He didn't say a word, he just listened. He nodded and sometimes his brow furrowed in thought, but his mouth never opened and his ears never shut. Cas felt as if he were on display for the world to see. His insides painted with unsaid feelings that accumulated over the past fifteen years of his life are suddenly splayed out on a cold table for people to witness. This was the most he'd spoken since Gabriel taught him how to speak and there was finally a purpose for his words.

The silence when Cas finished speaking wasn't as trying as he believed it would be. It was comfortable and Dean soaked in Cas's words with an unreadable look in his eyes.

Suddenly, Dean smiled at Cas who was now sitting about a foot away from him. "You know what I say to that?"

Cas cocked his head slightly to the side, he blue eyes tinged with curiosity. "What?"

"Fuck them."

Cas's eyes narrowed as he stared in bewilderment at Dean. "W-What-"

"Fuck them, Cas," Dean begins leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees, "Let them have their little petty fights, Anna and Michael. If you personally don't like Michael's rules, and not just because Anna says so, then don't follow them. And your dad? Everyone has some daddy issues, Cas. But, you shouldn't that bother you anymore. He's gone."

Dean's words hang in the air like a warm breath on a cold morning. There's a personal tinge to Dean's words as if he was speaking from experience. After a moment, Cas understands what Dean is telling him.

"I should be my own person," Cas states slowly, as if tasting the words as they roll off his tongue.

Truthfully, Cas had thought that a part of Dean hated him. But sitting together in a dimly lit closet breathing in aged dust and just talking, Cas felt something change. His own heart started beating furiously when he realized their proximity to each other. He can't stop staring at Dean's lips and a single whisper in the back of his mind chastises him for his thoughts, but even his conscious is reluctant to pull back.

Cas doesn't have to since it's Dean who got up first. Cas felt disappointment bubble in his chest, but he forced it down with a _it was never going to happen any way_.

Dean walked toward the door and grabbed his jacket from the ground. "Are you still cold?"

Cas shakes his head and takes a shaky breath before standing up. Dean puts his jacket back on and walked back over to where Cas stood. Again, only mere inches of air between them and Cas swore the air got heavier the moment their eyes met.

Dean licked his lips slightly. "Hey, Cas," he tried to start but apparently cannot think of words to say. He rubbed his jaw a bit and Cas stayed quiet, wondering about the thoughts rattling around inside of Dean's head.

"Could you just meet me here after school?"

Cas felt his insides twist with curiosity as he tried desperately to read Dean's thoughts. "Okay."

Dean nods and breathes out before leaving the room, and Cas, without another word.

* * *

Dean didn't want to think about what just happened. The way Cas's eyes kept flickering to his lips or that Dean's own heartbeat was beating a tattoo on to his chest as he walked away from the closet. He couldn't even remember what class period it was anymore or even what he was doing before he saw Cas fighting with Mr. Milton and Anna in the hallway over his own jacket, the only subject Cas had stayed clear of. He felt feverish and definitely not the kind you associate with the flu. His cells were on fire and more than anything he wanted to close the distance between him and Cas, and help him forget all the words that just tumbled out of his mouth.

This was not good.

Desperately, Dean tried to remember how to breathe evenly as the bell rang signally the end of sixth period. Dean followed the flow of the crowd and found his seventh period history class. He slid into his seat in the back of classroom and contemplated whether he should just leave the campus when the bell rings at the end of the day. He mulled over his need to fight or flight as class began when he hears his name called.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean turned his head toward the voice and finds his teacher glaring at him.

"What no textbook today? Not even a sheet of paper?"

The rest of the class smirks and scoffs at Dean while their own books are dutifully opened up to the chapter their studying on the Reformation. Dean's cheeks turned slightly red and he stuttered for a moment before his teacher rolled her eyes and continued with class as if Dean didn't exist. Dean looked around his desk, but he didn't see his backpack anywhere.

He left his backpack in the closet. Flight was definitely out now since he had to go back, anyway.

And so when the bell rang at the end of the period, Dean's heart began hammering painfully as he made his way toward the closet in a bit of daze. He reached the door after a minute of walking and the hallway is empty of both teenagers and teacher alike. He slowly opened the door and found it empty except for his backpack.

Feeling a mixture of relief and nervousness, Dean leaned against the wall facing the door. He's glad Cas isn't here because what would he even say? He desperately wanted to tell Cas that he understood some of what he was feeling, especially the father problems, but he couldn't bring himself to string a sentence together about it. So he waited. He tapped his foot, checked his watch, and went over a million different possible conversation in his head. After five minutes, he began to worry. After ten, he started pacing.

It was after fifteen minutes that he got angry. Dean stopped his pacing and glared at the door. Part of him refused to believe Cas was ditching him, but here he was fifteen minutes after school and Cas was a no-show.

Fuming and flushed with embarrassment, Dean scooped his backpack off the floor and wretched the door open only to find Cas standing there outside the door with an anxious look on his face.

"Cas..." Dean started to say something, but it caught in his throat. His anger faded almost immediately and left him flushed and speechless. They stood there staring at each other for what must have been eternity before Cas pushed past Dean into the room.

Dean closed the door and turned back toward Cas. "How long were you waiting out there?"

"About ten minutes. I wasn't sure if you came," Cas began before stopping and looking down at the floor, guilt coloring his cheeks.

"Well, why didn't you at least open the door and check?" Dean asked still confused as to why Cas would wait for ten minutes outside a door that held a fifty percent chance of containing Dean. And then it hit him: Cas didn't want to open the door and not see Dean there. He scoffed lightly and a soft smile lit his face when he realized Cas was just as scared of this meeting as Dean was.

The air felt heavy with unsaid words when their eyes met after a moment. The fluorescent lit room seemed to close around them and even then the distance between them felt like miles. And Dean knew exactly what to do about it.

One stride was all it took to for them to be an inch apart. Before he even registered what he was doing, Dean grabbed Cas by his shirt and pressed his lips to his.

A gesture that saved many uncomfortable verbal exchanges and expressed more than words could ever capture. The first touch wiped both their minds of everything that ever existed except for the feeling of unspoken words being traced across each other lips as their breaths mingled together in the dust filled storage closet.

And for that small moment, Dean felt something in his chest expand and fill the gaping wound that had left him empty and alone for the past six years. He ran his fingers through Cas's hair and deepened the kiss as Cas pushed Dean's jacket off his shoulders. His hands grabbed at the back of Dean's shirt as Dean ran his tongue over Cas's lips and pushed him up against the wall.

They held each other as if they were drowning, and like a life line they clung to the thought that maybe they now had something to move on to. And if there was a shred of doubt in either of their minds, it dissolved when Dean unbuttoned Cas's jeans and Cas let him.

* * *

**A/N:**

Well that was an update that left my head spinning, what about you?

Totally not where I had planned on going with this buuuuuuuuuut I'll let it slide.

I really wanted it to be longer, but in the end this pleases me, especially ending on THAT note.

Hmm yes destiel very good and a nice way to end a weekend.

-Brenna


End file.
